I think my boss thinks he is on a sitcom. He keeps saying "Yahhhh Buddy" to everything like he needs a go to saying to sell merchandise. #sigh

There are many questions I can't answer... Why Lint is always a greyish color, how come Bus Drivers don't receive tips and Cabbies do... and how is my boss still employed?

It's Cyber Monday!!! Great Day for online deals... awkward day for lonely misinformed perverts!

I've had enough of the NBA Lockout talks. Players missed what would be their first paycheck of the season that averaged out to 220,000 dollars per player. They've decided as a union this isn't a fair amount... the average per capital personal income in the US is about 40,000 per year.

Once again, NBA Players decided to forgo on one paycheck so far that is 1/12th of their salary which is still five and half times more lucrative than the average Americans yearly salary.

I don't want to hear any sob stories for Joe Pa... people have been fired for ridiculous reasons.

Ah crap... first Monday after the clocks go back an hour. That means I leave work and its dark, much like my much maligned soul from this job.

The NBA lockout is great! Millionaires fighting about half of percents while my coworkers and I are fighting to keep our 3% cost of living bonuses. #NBAsucks

Sometimes I think my office is just like the one on Workaholics. I should start chopping people and see how it goes over.

My boss should eat a snickers because she is acting like a diva!

My boss was surprised and acted a little annoyed that I didn't check my email once while on vacation. Apparently a honeymoon isn't a legit enough reason to not check email.

Sometimes I wish I was unemployed and just standing around on Wall street with the 99% rather than gargling up soul wincing laughs at my bosses horrible jokes.

I work for a landscaper in this heat. I resent that 75 degree comment earlier!

Was just informed we are continuing our green initiative by turning off the AC during lunch hours and keeping the thermostat at 75. Can I call bullshit on this one since my boss drives an F-350?

Dear Lady Boss,

Next time we are celebrating a birthday in the office, why don't you save money by eating the caked make up on your face so you can be beautiful on the inside too.

-Your superior outside these cubicle walls.

I hate how they call it "water cooler talk" when no one actually does that. I have been texting, facebooking and micromanajerking my frustrations with this horrendous job though.

My boss just told me I am "doing great work"... its kind of like getting your ass whipped in a fight and the guy saying you can really take a punch.

Sometimes I am amazed my bosses body is able to retain its shape seeing its lacking a spine.

My boss just made tweaks to my proposal and just the changes were received negatively from her boss. My boss then told her boss that I would change the mistakes. I heard bubble wrap popping at my desk but I think it was just the veins in my forehead because I loathe her so much.

My boss is much like former congressman Wiener. Except he is still employed but still a liar and a wiener.

My boss just held a 20 minute meeting called "Meeting client Expectations Meeting". I will be meeting you at the bar after this day.

Pretty confident that if I took over my bosses responsibilities managing my work, that I would add 5 hours of work a week and deduct 10 hours of work from fixing her screw ups. Thanks for all the help!!!

My boss likes it so cold in our office.. but the rest of us are not sporting a polar bear like coat, so we freeze. I literally have a little heater on in my cubicle in the middle of summer... we are not green.

Pretty sure the biggest difference from a Jail Cell and my Cubicle is I have to pay for the crappy lunches here.

Hard work and dedication... the cornerstones my boss takes afternoon naps on.

My title is Assistant Director of Marketing Operations in Mid West Territories... Shorthand way of saying "I Make Powerpoint and Excel files and email them to coworkers... and then explain to my psyche that my work is challenging and fulfilling"

Working a commission job is def a roller coaster of emotions. I need prozac.

Pretty sure micromanagement is when your boss asks if you can give hourly updates of progress on your project you are working on... holy crap this is going to take me forever! I need a new job!

I didn't get my MBA like my coworker did who is obnoxiously proud of it... can I just shred 300 One Hundred Dollar Bills into a trash heap and take a picture of that and hang it on my cubicle wall?

My boss just got on me about taking too many sick days but in that joking sarcastic voice so if I ever call him out on something he says he was just joking ... I was sick with pneumonia! Hilarious crotch pheasant!